Liberating Education

Liberating Education
"Education is a constant process for the liberation of human beings.”- Paulo Freire (1921–1997) Brazilian educator and activist.

In Cambodia, each student has a different educational background and in general, most students wait for a teacher to tell them what to do, study, learn, and act. Many teachers have tendency to take the curriculum from other countries and just copy them, having the students study whatever is listed in those course books without really engaging them in critical thinking. In the big picture, most people wait for a leader to tell them what to do. They all wait for the master to tell them what to do and follow. This approach is teacher centered instead of focusing on the development and nurturing of each student unique capacities and personal characteristics to help them attain authenticity and self-actualization. This approach as a whole also creates intellectual dependency and lack of innovative ideas as well freedom to think creatively. It encourages hard work, but oppresses creativity and innovative thoughts. Teacher holds the key to learning. Students are passive. They act as the recipients to knowledge, skills, and understandings.

Many of our religious, political, social and moral beliefs are beliefs that we are accepted as children before we could question them, and understand the reasons behind them. The aim here is not to reject but to understand and to learn good reasons to continue holding after personal observation and analysis. Furthermore, Cambodian culture believes in authority, hierarchy and tradition. People all grow up in the narrow world of our parents and friends, a small place where their views, beliefs, and values become ours through the process sociologists call primary socialization. I believe only education gives us the opportunity to free ourselves from the accident of our birth in a particular time, place, environment, and family. It broadens our horizons and helps us to become productive members of the humankind. Education is then freedom and liberation.

Is education a form of indoctrination? Why do we go through the struggle to be educated? Is it merely in order to pass the exam and get a job? Or is it the function of education to prepare us while we are young to understand the whole process of life? In developed nations, we teach people that it’s all right to question, to challenge authority on logical, moral, or other reasonable grounds. Freedom is not only being allowed to do that, it is also learning the skills needed to do it well. Learning to be a critical thinker is what a liberal education should be about. Then we can determine by ourselves truth and falsity, good and evil, and not behave like unthinking sheep in a herd. That something is our belief in reason, in having good evidence for our claims, in open-mindset, and in critical thinking.

I advocate a liberating education where knowledge leads to reflection, introspection and action where school is a place for learning, making mistakes, growing and creating memories, but not worrying. Liberating education is based in acts of cognition, not transfers of information. It encourages critical and creative thinking, debate and dialogues on real issues, even controversial ones, so that people can stand or take sides. Conflicts are resolved not by imposing the majority will upon all people, but by genuine dialogues between groups. Participants are encouraged to take stand on issues. The purpose of such fundamental change in the social order is to achieve justice and peace. I believe “right knowledge is power.” It enables people to overcome injustice, poverty, and fear and to handle all of the daily decisions they face that have a direct impact on their quality of life. The knowledge they impart may result in a new awareness of their social situation with its exploitation and oppression. In this case, new knowledge is not simply added to the existing body of knowledge but rather transforming the persons and culture by the use of knowledge. Education is then the transformation of self through possessing knowledge. It relates learning to practice, thus bringing theory and actions.

Students learn through experience and construct their reality based on their experiences. They are encouraged to seek the truth by asking more why rather than how’s to do it. In this sense, education invites students and teachers to put their learning and teaching into action for social development and justice. The curriculum is based more on the learner or student center. What does the student want to learn versus what does the teacher wants to teach? In the liberating education curriculum, students learn best by reflection and experience and least by copying and imitating.

As teachers, we can teach more than the subject. We can even cover much more than the rigor of critical thinking; we can cover life and how to live life with dignity, respect and honor. We can teach the students to believe in their own abilities and to have faith in what they could achieve with hard work and dedication to learning. Students learn to accept responsibility for their own life. They know that it is them who will get where they want to go, no one else. They need to investigate life. Where they are today, what they’ve accomplished in their life, and who they will become in the future is determined by one person; their own self! Once they grasp that concept, they take the first steps toward empowering themselves to become the person they’ve always longed to be. They understand the whole process of life. They are free to pursue their own vision of good life by accepting their own responsibility

Parker Palmer, an author, educator, and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change, expresses eloquently in the Aim of Education Revisited: "If higher education is to serve human purposes, we who educate must insist that knowing is not enough, that we are not fully human until we recognize that we know and take responsibility for it."

I argue the only lasting education is one that promotes higher modes of thoughts and moral actions not just storage of facts. In my view, the kinds of minds we will need to cultivate in the future are:
1. The disciplined mind masters bodies of knowledge and skill.
2. The synthesizing mind decides what most important and puts knowledge together in useful ways.
3. The creative mind ventures regularly into new, unexploited territory.
4. The respectful mind prizes diversity and tries to work effectively with individuals of all background.
5. The ethical mind proceeds from principles. It seeks to act in ways that serve the wider and just society.

May the next generation of Khmer people grow up to become a well-rounded, knowledgeable and moral human being through liberating education.

What have I learned?

Sunrise at Bakheng Temple


Sunset at Sihanoukville


What have I learned?

In my life:

1. I’ve learned it takes me a long time to become the person I want to be.
2. I’ve learned the best contribution I can make to humanity is to improve and develop myself.
3. I’ve learned to be a volunteer teacher; I am free to do more for my country and the people from all the working for money restraints.
4. I’ve learned my life will not go according to plan if I don't have a plan.
5. I’ve learned that I can’t pay somebody to practice for me.
6. I’ve learned to accept the injustice of life.
7. I’ve learned that if I wait until all conditions are perfect, I’ll never act.
8. I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
9. I’ve learned that it is easier to keep up than to catch up.
10. I’ve learned that I have to “BE” first before I can “DO”, and “DO” before I can “HAVE”.
11. I’ve learned that TRUST is the most important factor in both personal and professional relationship.
12. I’ve learned that kindness is the language of the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.
13. I’ve learned that making a life is more important than making a living.
14. I've learned that life sometimes gives me a second and may be a third chance.
15. I’ve learned that it is impossible to accomplish anything worthwhile without the help of others and a little luck.
16. I’ve learned what works and what is not working for me?
17. I’ve learned that no life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated and disciplined
18. I’ve learned that there is always someone who cares about me.
19. I’ve learned that people treat me the way I allow them to treat me.
20. I’ve learned that I can’t please SOME people, no matter what I do.
21. I’ve learned that I should make the ‘little’ decision with my head and the ‘big’ decision with my heart.
22. I’ve learned that real teaching is not the subject I am teaching, but the people I am teaching.
23. I’ve learned to be good at kids watching.
24. I’ve learned to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
25. I’ve learned everyone can be great.
26. I’ve learned everything I teach should have a context and should be relevant.
27. I’ve learned I don’t owe the future a brighter people but I do owe our people a brighter future.
28. I’ve learned if I always do what I always did, I always get what I always got.
29. I’ve learned when there is faith there is hope.
30. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t look back except to learn.
31. I’ve learned the shortest answer is doing.
32. I’ve learned nothing great was ever achieved without endurance and enthusiasm.
33. I’ve learned to be content with I am rather than what I have.
34. I’ve learned the world will not value me until I value myself.
35. I’ve learned whatever is worth doing is worth doing it right.
36. I’ve learned that I have to do things I don’t like.
37. I’ve learned that no one is free when others are oppressed.
38. I’ve learned to oppose everything while proposing nothing is irresponsible.
39. I’ve learned if there is any peace, it will come from being, not having.
40. I’ve learned that no one can do this work for me.
41. I’ve learned the love money and material wealth is the source of all evils.
42. I’ve learned that life’s most important question is what am I doing for others?
43. I’ve learned my darkness well enough that I can sit in the darkness with others.
44. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
45. I’ve learned to live simply and humbly.
46. I’ve learned to love unconditionally.
47. I’ve learned to care deeply.
48. I’ve learned to give generously.
49. I’ve learned to speak only the truth.
50. I’ve learned to teach compassionately.
51. I’ve learned to be me because everything is taken.
52. I’ve learned that change makes all things possible.
53. I’ve learned happiness never decreased when shared.
54. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

The Importance of Reading and Writing

Students at Pannasastra University of Cambodia practice writing


Reading to students at "BambooShoot School"

The Importance of Reading and Writing
“If you don’t know how to read and write, it doesn’t matter how creative you are,”- Bill Gates.

I am not sure what kind of reader and writer you are, I want to share and explain how reading and writing have affected my life. I read and write everywhere I go. I read and I write when I study. I read and I write when I work (I teach). I read and I write when I stay home. I read and I write when I go on vacations. I read and I write every day. I read because I want to learn what I need. I write because I want to share what I know with others.

Reading is a multidimensional, dynamic process that involves thinking and responding, not only based on fluency and accuracy but also on discovering and understanding the power of language and communication. Reading is about making sense of my life and my world. It is about what I want to read when I need to know something or do something. There is no frigate like a book to take me lands away. I view reading as a pleasurable activity–as a source of entertainment and useful and interesting factual information. I receive great pleasure and satisfaction from burying myself in a Dhamma book. Reading has opened the door and the window for me. Reading can be thought of as preparation for a very important race. To me, reading is the single most important obstacle to academic success.

Writing exercises my mind to express thoughts, ideas and opinions. I admit writing is not easy, but rewarding. I write because I want a place to record my life experience and create something that I could look back on and laugh, cry and reminisce. Writing to me become more and more than a place to record my daily life experience, my thoughts. The papers I wrote become my friend; they were made and willing to accept anything and everything I had to say and feel. It could handle my questions, my sadness, my fear, my opportunity, and my joys. I discovered the beauty of writing – when I can pour myself onto white sheet of emptiness and fill it with emotions, ideas and thoughts and leave them there forever. It became a type of therapy for me for dealing with everything that was going on with my life, my country and humanity as a whole. If I want a reflective message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, I have to keep putting oil in it.

To all youngsters, I challenge and encourage you to read and write everyday. The more you read and the more you write the better you become. You become better reader by reading. You become better writer by writing. No one can do this for you. Reading and writing are your best investments in your future. They will bring you success in everything you want to be, you want to do and you want to have. Reading and writing are just like air. You don’t see but you need it to live in today’s world. Have fun reading and writing.

I posted "The Black Economy" in The Cambodia Daily

The Black Economy in Cambodia

The faces of the poor people in Cambodia affected by the black economy in Cambodia


The Black Economy in Cambodia
“The misery of my people is greater than my misery,” - Jayavarman VII (1181-1218)

Character isn’t something people were born with and can’t change, like fingerprints. It’s something that people weren’t born with and must take responsibility for developing and forming. With this thought, I want to talk about excessive corruption in Cambodia, the main character of the black economy formed by the corrupted leaders, and their powerful entourage. Here, I am only interested in fixing the problem rather than assigning blame.

Unwarranted corruption has undeniably been one of the Cambodia’s main stumbling blocks to sustainable development and fighting poverty. Corruption matters and becomes the main character. It creates a lasting impression in the heart and the mind of the people of Cambodia especially the poor. Studies show that there is a strong correlation between education and economic growth in developing countries. With strong roots, the trees will provide good shade and abundant fruits for all to enjoy.

On the surface everything is in order, decisions are carried out, lives moves on, the markets are crowded, the streets are packed with motodups and cars, the city is full of activities, and the ship sails along. But where is it heading? The sailors are rowing without seeing anything, the lower ranking officers are holding their eyes up to the leadership, but the leaders are not capable of seeing past each coming, rising and tumbling wave because money is the new and real king. Even free services cost money. Schools, fire services, hospitals, the police, the army, the government officials, media reporters, the judiciary all began to demand bribes for their “supposed to be free” services. One can argue that poverty is the root cause of corruption while others say corruption the root cause of poverty. However one thing is certain that lack of education is the main cause of poverty. And quality education for ALL and the development of wisdom (law of karma) have been diagnosed as the best medicine of breaking the cycle of poverty and corruption.

The fact that people have schools doesn’t mean they have an education. The fact that people have pagodas doesn’t mean they have faith. The fact that people have courts doesn’t mean they have justice and egalitarian law. The fact people have functioning government doesn’t mean they have real democracy with freedom of expressions. The resultant impunity along with the widespread poverty and a lack of strong institutions sparked an uncontrollable mass of corruption mainly created by the top politicians, and their powerful cronies. Its contagious spread has affected all including the poor. ‘Survival’ is the main cause of corruption for the poor.

Cambodian people are trained in a culture of corruption. The epidemic low teachers salaries contribute to a vicious cycle that encourages students to bribe their way through school, and eventually use bribery to carry them through life. In the national educational system, Cambodians are educated in corruption early – students aged 6-years-old and up are forced and taught that paying unofficial fees to supplement teachers’ salary is a part of growing up. Teachers demand students pay school fee everyday. “Small man gets small bribe; big man gets big bribe” has become a popular Khmer saying. The government must admit the failure of its responsibility to educate all Cambodia’s children to their fullest potential with the academic and professional skills. The national educational system in Cambodia offers a sharp division of classes, as the rich few are in good positions at independence in private schools and have used their power to maintain themselves. Sure, the current system offers schooling to the masses of illiterates from the countryside, but just to make them able workers in the factories and not enough to be owners due to the low academic standards and the quality of teachers for the remote areas. Furthermore, schools often serve as instruments of social reproduction in which the lower class learn to be docile workers who follow orders and the upper class are trained for leadership and the exercise of power. Since quality education is liberation, the goal of teaching and learning should stress to free the minds of students from the unconscious grip of oppressive ideas about such things as their class, race, gender, or ethnic status and other forms of social repression. One becomes free of these oppressive ideas not simply by recognizing them as oppressive, but by doing something about them.

Cambodia has become an aid-dependent society and much of the foreign aid that flooded Cambodia ended up in the pockets of unscrupulous officials. A 2004 study by the US agency for International Development (USAID) showed corruption costs the Cambodian government a huge sum of $500 million in revenue. “Five hundred million is the equivalent to the cost of constructing 20,000 six room school buildings or the ability to pay every civil servant an additional $260 a month,” said US Ambassador Carol Rodley at the anti-corruption concert in Phnom-Penh in May of 2009. A 2007 Transparency International survey showed 72% of Cambodian paid bribes for public services – the highest rate in the Asia-Pacific region and second only to Cameroon (79%) globally. A 2008 Transparency International Index put Cambodia in a dismal 166th place most corrupted country. Studies compiled by the largely German funded identification of the poor households program 2008 said 30% people surveyed in four provinces (Siem Reap, Prey Veng, Kompong Cham, and Oddar Meanchey) were rated as either “poor” or “very poor”. A latest 2009 index showed a small improvement at 156th place, still a very grim spot to be. The latest score, based on eight independent surveys, indicate the perceived level of public sector corruption in Cambodia. Yet, the government rejected most of the findings analysis of the corruption levels in Cambodia even the Transparency International showed that a whooping number of 47% of Cambodian family had paid some form of bribe in 2008.

To become aid-independent and move the country forward in hope of beating the black economy to an open society of equality, justice, freedom, dignity, and progress, all kinds of corruption must be stopped and should be eliminated by adopting, implementing, and enforcing the anti-corruption law as soon as possible and to the fullest with zero tolerance from the highest to the lowest ranking. Since the government named poverty reduction as a top priority in 2009, the people of Cambodia should challenge and demand the top leaders to live up to its stated priorities and deliver the long awaiting promise to reduce poverty. It is the people’s hope that an anti-corruption law approved by the Council of Ministers on 11th December 2009 will pass in the National Assembly very soon. Yet, the government has to release the latest copies of the long awaited draft legislation. Furthermore, the current administration cannot bear any criticism of them, or even accept that others may have different views such as the historical event of 7th January 1979. In this context, change can only take place through actions. And real change may only come when the people get more educated and learn to speak their own mind without fear of oppressions. When the power of love (metta) overcomes the love of power, then real development will grow and last.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach and I remember. Involve me and I learn” Benjamin Franklin

Students Learning in the remote province of Kompong Speu


Students Learning at Pagoda Onalum


Students Learning at Bamboo Shoot School


Students Learning at Royal University of Phnom-Penh

The Liberationist, The Facilitator, and The Executive Teacher
Three Basic Approaches To Teaching and Learning

School is a place where students learn about themselves and about the world. And the business of the school is developing intellectual and nurturing the mind, not pampering the emotions. Yet, the levels of intellectual ability may differ, but all humans share the same emotional capacities to feel love, anger, empathy, caring, and joy. The practical curriculum should capitalize on this capacity between school and life, and teach our youth about the common humanity of all human beings. Education should help each person make his or her life more meaningful and fulfilling.

Often, in a classroom setting, teacher makes decisions regarding the information that needs to be covered and skills that need to be developed. Teacher should emphasize discovery and opening the world for the student. Learners should be full participants in the learning process. Education must rest on a solid foundation of knowledge about how to use it. Each teacher is a unique person, and it is by being really yourself that you really can become a great teacher. Since knowledge is power, these three basic approaches to teaching and learning give the teacher the power to choose way(s) to teach that will help achieve one of the noblest goals to which human beings can aspire: assisting the young in becoming thoughtful, competent, and caring adults.

Before examining each of the three different approaches to teaching and learning it is important to identify and remember the five elements common to all teaching framework called ‘MAKER’ framework (Approaches to Teaching, 2004, Gary D Fenstermacher and Jonas F. Soltis): Methods of teaching, Awareness of students, Knowledge of the subject matter, Ends that guide teaching and learning, and Relationships between teacher and students. Now I invite you to empty your cup (your own personal opinions and perception) and enrich your own conception of the role, purpose, and persona you want to be yours as a ‘wow’ teacher by reflecting on these different perspectives of teaching and learning.

1. The Liberationist Approach views the teacher as a liberator of the mind to wonder, to know, and understand, to imagine and create, using the full intellectual inheritance. Teacher with appropriate manner frees and opens the mind of the learner, initiating him or her into human ways of knowing and assisting the learner becoming a well rounded, knowledgeable, and moral human being. The liberationist teacher stresses initiation into ways of knowing and the development of the student’s intellectual and moral virtues. The emancipationist, a variant of the liberationist approach with strong social and political orientation, sees the social world as a place of constant struggle and oppression where those who have power, privilege, and status assert themselves and those who do not have power or privilege accept their diminished status and fate that follow from it. Furthermore the emancipationists argue that schools often serve as instruments of social reproduction in which the lower class learn to be docile workers who follow orders and the upper class are trained for leadership and the exercise of power. The end of emancipationist teaching stresses to free the minds of students from the unconscious grip of oppressive ideas about such things as their class, race, gender, or ethnic status and other forms of social repression. One becomes free of these oppressive ideas not simply by recognizing them as oppressive, but by doing something about them (Paulo Freire, Brazilian Educator, Pedagogy of the Oppressed, 2001). The liberationist uses ends that guide teaching and learning and knowledge of the subject matter as dominant factors.

2. The Facilitator Approach who focus on the development and nurturing of each student’s unique capacity and personal characteristics to help them attain authenticity and self actualization. Teacher has a civic responsibility to model how to be loving, empathetic, just, honest, respectful, and caring individuals. Providing students with the opportunities to experience and practice these skills, along with providing cognitive development is their obligation. Teacher is like passports to these experiences. Teacher also helps students and adolescent become themselves. Students really learn and grow in their sense of self-worth. Teacher is an empathetic person who believes in helping individuals grow personally and reach a high level of self-actualization and self-understanding. He or she nurtures the personhood of the student by engaging him or her in meaningful experiences that connect with their lives (care pedagogy). The facilitator puts awareness of student and ends that guide teaching and learning central.

3. The Executive Approach views the teacher as a skillful manager of learning, and the acquisition of knowledge, skills, understandings, and competencies. Students must rest on a solid foundation of knowledge and the ability to think critically. Teacher conveys basic subject matter and skills as efficiently as possible. Careful developed curriculum materials and methods of teaching backed by research are very important. They provide the teacher with techniques and understanding to use in the management of the classroom and the production of learning. In this context, students learn by in large what they were engaged to study. The executive stresses the methods of teaching and knowledge of subject matter and put less emphasis on awareness of students, ends that guide the activities of teaching and learning, and relationships between teacher and students.

Today’s world is diverse and constantly changing. Educators must be prepared to deal with these challenges. Understanding, practicing and gaining perspective in one or all three approaches prepare you to function more effectively in different school settings with different types of learners. Knowing teaching is personal, my intent here is to offer and present new way(s) to teaching and learning for further reflection as well as new topics for conversation with your fellow teachers. Our common goal as teacher is to provide an environment that stresses the ethical and moral values of society and prepare students to become self-directed and lifelong learners. Students become active learners through active teaching. I salute you for the great service you render to the nation and its children.

Sources and for further reading check out:
1. Approaches to Teaching, 2004, Gary D Fenstermacher and Jonas F. Soltis.
2. Pedagogy of the Oppressed, 1970, Paulo Freire.

Life Lesson: Introspection

International Vipassana Center at Pagoda Onalum


Vipassana Sitting Hall


Paccaya's Tranlation Sesssion with Ven. Sanghabodhi and Ven. Den


Lunch at the Pagoda with two other Kmeng Wat, Diman and Reuth

Life Lesson: Introspection

Being back home this time, I wanted to examine myself from a different perspective; to reflect and inquire about how I can contribute to the community. I chose to live at the International Vipassana Center in Onalum Pagoda for ten months. While everyone thinks of changing the world, I think of changing myself. I have wanted to live my life from the inside out and not from the outside in. I have wanted my life to mean something more. I have wanted to exist for the greater good, to directly experience anatta (no self) living with less and focusing more on right actions and not as much on results. I have wanted to choose a life I have reason to value. I have wanted to be content with who I am rather than what I have or what I do. My stay in the pagoda was intended to test my heart, to test my determination, to test myself and to develop my wisdom for my own personal growth. I have wanted nothing more than to be a right force (bala) of change to serve my country and humanity.

My introspection required me not only to see, know, understand and feel new things, but also to experience the same things in a new light. Nothing came easy to me in life. I had to do my own work. No one can do this work for me, because no one has lived through the life experience I have. Enlightened ones will only show the way. In the pagoda, I renounced most the householder’s life and lived with minimal personal possessions, with bare essentials. I lived on the charity of others; accepting whatever was offered as food, accommodation, or other facility.

My day at the pagoda usually began at 4:30 AM listened to the metta (loving kindness) praying by the monks and sat for one-hour Vipassana meditation. Besides helping with the daily chores; organizing, sweeping, dusting and cleaning, I helped prepare and serve meals to the monks with two other “Khmeng Wat” (pagoda boys). I called myself “Chach Wat”, pagoda old man. Whatever I received here, I tried to make best use of it; working hard to purify my mind. I enriched my general knowledge on Buddhism by spending countless hours reading, researching, learning, and understanding more on the theoretical study of Dhamma (pariyatti) as well as the teaching of Abhidhamma (ultimate science). At the actual practice of Dhamma (patipatti), I volunteered serving nine days Satipatthana course. I also took ten days Vipassana course to develop insightful learning about myself and learned to teach Anapana Sati (awareness of the incoming and outgoing breath) to the children. Everything happen in life is a process of natural phenomenon which possess three main characteristics included anicca (impermanence), dukka (suffering), and anatta (no self). Each breath I took is a path to experience the present moment and to liberation, the experience of arising and passing away, a small step to free myself from all bondages. Gradually, I become aware that I’m responsible for my feeling, and what I do with them. Through that, I have learned to speak my mind.

As I look back on my life, one of the most constant and powerful things I have experienced within myself is the desire to be more than I am at the moment—an unwillingness to let myself remain where I am; a desire to do more, learn more, accomplish more. But now, step-by-step I have learned to live my life in the present moment rather than the past. Everyday and every moment, I create my own future, my own welfare and misery as well as my own liberation. If I can learn to develop the mastery in this present moment, the future will automatically be bright. I am what I have. But whatever I have never last. Great renunciation (nekkhamma) is the renunciation of having. After critical self-examination, I have to “BE” first before I can “DO” and “DO” before I can “HAVE”.

Somehow, just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left the same as I began. It appears that my life is a constant irony of maturity and regression, but my sense of progress is based on the illusion that things out there are going to remain the same and that, at last, I have gained a little control. The more things changes the more I am the same. I am what I started with. More and more, I realize that achieving meaningful change in me will take time, and may be a lifetime.

My trouble is I analyze life instead of live it. Much of the stress I feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what I’ve started. From this experience, I have learned not to judge myself by how much I have accomplished. It is enough that I am of value to someone today. It is enough that I serve Lok Ta, my respectful 92 years old father, now. It is enough for me to sit down and listen to his advice on living my life according to the five Buddhist precepts. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I expected.

Little reflection was necessary for me to appreciate that my most troubling times have generally been responsible for my greatest growth. My life is full of challenges and obstacles. It is all about how I face them, how I come through them. When there is faith there is hope. I have been an imperfect human being, but with the help of my faith (saddha), I have corrected my path. My faith (saddha) and effort (veriya) have always brought me back home to where I really belong. I have persevered from tragedy after tragedy by mean of my personal wisdom (panna) to be my own master. I am the only one responsible for my life. Since I am the author of my life, I never give up on my aspiration to gain self–actualization. By observing and practicing ardently the four sublime states of Buddhism; Metta (loving-kindness), Karuna (compassion), sympathetic joy (mudita), and equanimity (uppekkha), I find real peace and harmony. Yet, I know I still have a long way to go to be at peace in the way I want.

Challenge and opportunity always come together-under certain conditions; one could be transformed into the other. The way to be most helpful to others is for me to do the thing that right now would be most helpful to me. My motivation is to perform my part as a productive member of humanity, to contribute my own skills and efforts for the greater good. My only reward is in my actions and not from them. Everything I do influence those around me and everything I think and feel influence what I do. However to live my life for perfectionism would be sentenced myself to continuous frustration.

My life is more about caring and giving. I have come to understand that I cannot completely solve all the problems, but I can work toward resolving by changing the way I deal with it. I judge less and less my day by how much I have completed but rather to enjoy what I have done for the benefits others, especially the children, the vulnerable, and the poorest. I want to open the door for the next generation. The kids have to be educated so they can have a better and brighter future, and what more is there. I believe each human being, whatever their social level or profession, has a potential to fulfill. I know it can be done. We all can be and do much more than we think.

Today never hands me the same thing twice and I believe that for most everyone else, life is also a mixture of unsolved problems, ambiguous victories and fictional defeats—with very few quiet moments of clear and real peace. I never do seem to quite get on top of it. My struggle today is worthwhile, but it is a struggle nonetheless and one I will never finish. I don’t want to stand with the setting sun and think of things I have or haven’t done. I can never hide myself from me. I see what others may never see. I know what other may never know. I often ask myself: how have I dealt with disappointments in life? Is failure really bad? The idea of failing a hundred times as long as I succeed once keeps me going. I believe if I persevere enough, work at it, stick with it; I have a real opportunity to achieve something. Change makes all things possible, yet requires great courage and personal sacrifice. To me, right intentions are more important than results.

I believe no one is wrong. At most someone is uninformed. “You’re wrong” means “I don’t understand you”—I am not seeing what you’re seeing. But there is nothing wrong with you, you simply not me and, that’s not wrong. If I think a person is wrong, either I am unaware of something, or he/she is. I like to be very honest and very specific in my criticism. I don’t want the local Khmer people see me as an ‘outsider’ but as a normal Khmer person who cares as much about them, encourages them to do their best, and works hard with them. I think one of the most important things in life is to be open-minded and to be open-minded for positive change.

Being back home this time, I am astounded to hear from government notable words that are so far removed from the truth and dignity such as freedom of expression, equal rights to housing, health care and education, human rights issues and the culture of impunity. Yes, I see progress; I see new buildings, I see new constructions, I see new roads, I see new bridges, I see new sumptuous villas, but beside this make-up, I also see more poverty, I see more corruption, I see more nepotism, I see more abuses, I see more distrust, I see more intellectual degradation, I see more oppressions, I see more immorality, I see more burglaries, I see more hunger, I see more misery, and I see more widening gaps between the riches and the poor, between the powerful and the vulnerable. Endemic corruption, land grabbing, abuse of power and social justice are critical issues facing the country and inaction is not acceptable. There comes a point where we all have to accept that the current system is not working. I feel that justice must be the same for everybody. Everyone needs to uphold the principle that no one is above the law. When I can, I want to help. I want to make a difference. If I can bring a little happiness for someone else, I gain more in my life. It is when I forget myself that I do things that are remembered.

Moreover, it is better for me to remain hopeful than hopeless. History has told us over and over again that we all pay a higher price if we do nothing or we don’t do enough. Achieving meaningful change will take time and only take place through right actions. I have wanted to plant new seed, the seed of growth mind set. I believe we all can plant any seed we want in the soil, and if it's given enough time and attention, it will grow into a flower, vegetable, or tree. The same goes for our mind. We can plant doubt, mistrust, contentions, oppressions and negative thoughts, or we can choose to plant the most hopeful, success-focused thoughts; the four sublime seeds of love and ethics we can muster. With enough time and attention, those seeds will grow as well. Will they grow into a promising future or a mediocre life? That depends on what we planted. As the seed is, so the fruit will be; as the right action is, so the result will be. Since the results are unpredictable, no effort of mine is doomed to failure. I am hopeful the up-and-coming generation of Khmer people learns to embrace openness, to accept new ideas and critical thinking, and grows up to be an ideal generation free from lobha (greed), dosa (hatred), and moha (ignorance).

I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me, had I made different choice. This existence of mine is as moving as the clouds. To watch the birth and death of being is like looking at the movement of a wave. A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky. Rushing by like a torrent down a steep mountain. At the pagoda, I have stopped for a moment to encounter life, to be with my father and to serve others. This was a precious moment even if it was transient. It was a parenthesis in eternity but this moment has been worthwhile for me. After all, I am who I am.

I am most grateful to Venerable Sanghabodhi, my respectful father and head monk for letting me stay at the International Vipassana Center and tirelessly and patiently teaching me the art of being. I also would like to thank all those who were kind enough to share my insightful experience and helped me in many other ways during my stay at the pagoda. Their unconditional support and encouragement will be always remembered.