April 17, 1975 and Definition of Living

Pictures taken at the pagoda Pudtamonkol

Remembering the Tragedy of Killing Fields

April 17, 1975 is a day of remembrance of the suffering of all Cambodian people who lost their families, relatives, friends and compatriots during the Pol Pot’s brutal regime. Monks conduct Bangsokol and survivors pay tribute to them at pagoda Pudtamonkol. With the severity of the crimes – the crimes of all crimes – many victims will never forget and will never forgive the Khmer Rouge murderers. Cambodia shouldn’t “bury the past” and those perpetrators should be held accountable for their crimes. 

Forty-eight years later, as I look back, I realize that time does not wait for anyone. I often ask myself what is my definition of living (a meaningful life)? Is living my day-to-day experience fit my definition of living? With the education, knowledge, and training I have, I can't close my eye and pretend I am blind; I can't close my mouth and pretend I am dumb; I can’t close my ear and pretend I am deaf against so much injustice, cruelty, and insatiable greed of political leaders. 

Let me share what really trouble me: “My mother along with two brothers and two sisters are dead while many of the Khmer Rouge cadres who ordered and engaged in stabbing children, killing and beating people to death, starving them, and denying them medical help, are living freely under the pseudonym of peace and reconciliation”. Is Karma erroneous? How could this callousness, brutality, cruelty, inhumanity and injustice occur? What happened to the rule of law? What happened to the Extraordinary Chambers in the Courts of Cambodia (ECCC) known as the Khmer Rouge Tribunal? Afterspending US$337 million, 16 years and mired in claims of political interference, only three Khmer Rouge leaders had been sentenced. To date, only Khieu Samphan, 92, Chief of State, is serving life sentence brings to account for all the suffering the Khmer Rouge caused, while convicted Khmer Rouge’s No. 2 leader and chief ideologist Nuon Chea died in 2019 at the age of 93, and convicted Prison chief Kaing Guek Eav, known as Duch, died in 2020 at age 77 while serving a life sentence.

I realize there simply is no adequate answer. These questions call for a response. My definition of living is to find justice and uncover the truth for the death of my mother, two brothers, and two sisters (even if I have to do this alone). Without justice and truth, there can be no real reconciliation and genuine peace.

In the Struggle for Preserving Cultural Identity - Words Matter

Pictures Taken at City of Long Beach on March 7, 2023 and March 21, 2023

Sixth District Councilwoman of Long Beach Suely Saro has made, what I feel, is a callous calculated political decision. She with her supporters wish to change “Chol Chanam Thmei” (Khmer New Year) to “Sangkranta” in the name of inclusion at the cost of Cambodian exclusion – to align with the celebration of Thai and Laotian communities. To set the record straight, “Chol Chnam Thmei” has been the traditional and popular description of the Khmer New Year for many generations while “Sangkranta” is the first day of the Khmer New Year. Keeping the original words “Chol Chnam Thmei” allows us to maintain Cambodian tradition and preserve our unique and authentic culture. Her unilateral decision to adopt the word “Sangkranta”, while well-meaning, does not address the majority of the community voices and the elders’ concerns about loss of cultural identity, has major ramifications for our Khmer community in Long Beach. Besides dividing the community and affecting the younger generation, this change anguish the elders deeply and confuse many.

After living though unimaginable atrocities of the Killing Fields, many Cambodians are still haunted by the deep mental and emotional damage of war. We are also traumatized by sensing that our culture is being blended into a melting pot of inclusiveness and losing its unique identity. This cultural vulnerability has been part of our identity and survival. Dr. David Kinzie Professor of Psychiatry, clinician, and researcher at Oregon Health and Science University, found that “the treatment of severely traumatized Cambodian refugees is a difficult task. Through an understanding of the patient's culture and the posttraumatic stress disorder, the author recommends several treatment approaches. These include: supportive long-term therapy, case management, reinforcing traditional values, socialization group therapy, and specific medication. Through a sensitive, flexible approach, the Western practitioner can greatly reduce the suffering of these patients” (David Kinzie, J. Therapeutic approaches to traumatized Cambodian refugees. J Trauma Stress 2, 75–91 (1989). 

The manifestation of the historical trauma, the recurring nightmares and the exacerbation of losing our cultural identitycontinue to haunt us, even decades after the dissolution of the Khmer Rouge regime.  After studying specific stressful factors associated with Cambodian refugees and their vulnerability to pathology from a sociological constructivist framework, Cambodian medical sociologist Dr. Leakhena Nou found the Khmer stress process to be a complex phenomenon influenced by various social, cultural, environmental, historical, and political factors that subject the Cambodian people to pathology and adjustment difficulties. This complicated context influences respondents' perceptions of several important stressors (negative life events and daily hassles) that are related to the effects of the Khmer Rouge and resettlement difficulties, including such examples as lack of trust among Cambodians, destruction of Khmer culture and identity, the existence of social injustice and corruption in Cambodian society, feeling socially outcast and without a sense of belonging in the United States, and lacking education and the basic resources for survival (Nou, L. (2006) A qualitative examination of the psychosocial adjustment of Khmer refugees in three Massachusetts communities. Occasional papers, Institute for Asian American Studies. Boston: University of Massachusetts). 

 

Forty-four years after the Cambodian mass atrocity, while the people of Cambodia experienced unthinkable trauma, the rest of the world did little to help. It seemed to me like nobody knew and nobody care about Cambodia. Now while the City Council of Long Beach voted unanimously (7-0) in favor of recognition of “Long Beach Sangkranta 2023”, the Vice Mayor and other six City Council Officials were unaware of the harmful feelings of many Cambodia elders. In a public forum at the City of Long Beach on March 7, 2023 and March 21, 2023 more than forty elders made our voices heard – loud and clear – that the deconstruction of the Cambodian National identity since ancient times and resettlement in the U.S. in the mid 1970s has no place in our community. 

 

One centenarian Cambodian lady reminded the Mayor and other the City Council Officials of Long Beach openly and succinctly about the gravity of her deep trauma: “I rather die than losing my culture”. It is clear that this change has struck a chord – Words Matter. Cultural Identity Matter Most to the Cambodian Elders.